Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Way I See It...

Disclaimer...I will be mentioning breasts ;)

From the moment you become a parent you immediately want whats best for them. It's amazing how quickly you feel this. I want the best for Noah in all regards. So when it came to feeding I knew that the best was breast. I had all intentions of breast feeding for a full year. Well because of my gestational diabetes, that plan kind of got a wrench thrown into it. When a baby is born to a mom that has gestational diabetes, they immediately check the babies levels to make sure that they are safe and balanced. When Noah was born, his glucose levels were great. I nursed him immediately and thought all was good. When they went to check him again his numbers had dropped way below the safe number they usually like newborns to be at. So to avoid IV fluids they gave him formula to see if this would bring up his numbers. Thankfully it did. For the next 24 hours we had to continue to give him formula after he would nurse from me because his numbers kept getting low without it. After the 24 hours he stabilized, But to be on the safe side we continued to give him a bottle of formula after he would nurse. After day 4 I started to get worried because my milk supply was just not coming in. I immediately contacted a lactation specialist to see what needed to be done to get this process rolling. When we met, we found that Noah had a great latch and rooted very well. So she made some suggestions and sent us on our way. Well I guess my milk came in but really light. He was barely getting a full ounce from nursing. I was getting frustrated because I really wanted this to work, but was getting exhausted from the 1 1/2 hour feedings I was doing trying to get him to nurse. Back to the specialist we go. We met with another specialist that recommended we use an SNS device because the consensus was that Noah was a Lazy nurser and didn't want to work for his food, therefore not stimulating me enough to get what they call let downs for milk. Now I'm not going to go into details on what this is (some of you probably know). I will say it's the most stupid and frustrating contraption to exist. I made it two days and said NO WAY. I realized my feeding times with Noah should NOT be frustrating, and I should not be dreading the feeding hours. Plus he was so much happier just getting a bottle. So we made the decision to not go back to the specialist and I would pump, nurse whatever i could give him and supplement him with formula. Ok maybe this wasn't the best idea because feeding times were still taking FOREVER. After a breakdown of tears for the umpteenth time we then decided that I would just pump and give him what i could and continue formula.

Ok so now feedings were cut down to 1/2 hour to 45 mins. Much better!!! Pumping, well that sucked!!!! Especially when you barely pump enough to feed your child. Even if I pumped all day long, I don't even think i would get enough. So the decision ended up that I would pump to 6 weeks and then that was that!! DONE! I was done crying, I was done being frustrated and I was going to enjoy my child and the time I spent feeding him.

Can you just say OMG!! How exhausting the First 6 weeks were. Noah is now 8 weeks old and Mommy and baby are much much happier. It took me a bit to realize that there was no need to beat myself up because nursing didn't work for me. I've come to realize that nursing doesn't come easy to every mother either. I've talked to many that share the same stories and same frustrations i experienced. Some fought through it successfully and some made decisions like we did. I knew that even on formula, Noah is going to be a happy and healthy baby. We bond during his feedings. I get to kiss on his sweet head and sweet face while he's getting his bottle. He watches me as I talk to him and I know he doesn't feel like he's missing out on anything. We are in a wonderful place and I am happy.

So the way I see it, Every baby is different, every mommy is different and every experience is different. Whether you're a new mom or an experienced mom, you just never know how things will turn out when it comes to the big "N". Just remember to trust your motherly instincts. You know what is right for you and your child and you will always do the right thing even if some may not agree with it. Never beat yourself up for making the decisions you do. You know you're a wonderful mom and no one can ever take that from you.

2 comments:

{april kennedy} said...

Autumn....so glad you came to this conclusion so quickly. I stuggled with both my babies and nursing too. I just didn't have a great milk supply and my kids were failing to thrive on breast feeding alone. If we had/have a third we already decided it was going to be straight formula so we didn't even waste our time/energy/tears/frustration trying to do something that just didn't work for me.

Happy feeding time. It is oh so special either way!! :)

Heather :: AFD Jewelry :: said...

So glad you're doing what's best for you and Noah!! So many women beat themselves up over their feeding choices, which is crazy. Like you said every mom and every baby are different. Noah is just perfect, and you are a fabulous mama!!

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